7 of the Most Overused Rhymes in Song

I've always thought that music holds a power over us which is grossly unfair. My cynical old-man brain knows the song I'm listening to was written in half an hour by a team of bored graduates with a spreadsheet telling them what combinations of words and chord progressions will play well with their demographic - but I have a lump in my throat regardless.

I once heard of the Spice Girls' "Goodbye My Friend" being played at a teenagers' funeral because he liked the band. My first thought was that this must have been embarrassing. I put the song on out of morbid curiosity, and was surprised how moved I was. I found it gut-wrenchingly sad even though A: it's rubbish, B: I never met these people, and C: I remember Ginger Spice telling fucking Nelson Mandela about girl power. It's unfair, I tell you. These bouncing airheads have direct access to the very core of my being.

Anyway. It's not the end, my friend. We're friends until the end. Rubbish. And so are these:

1) MAYBE / BABY

As in: "Come on, baby / Don't say maybe"

"Baby" must be the most commonly-used word in song. It's hard to even use the word in context without half-singing it. Come on, baby... You know I didn't mean it, baby... Whether diffusing a woman or trying to get something from a man, it's not a word that feels natural to say or hear. For words that rhyme, though, it's slim pickings. So this one is inevitable. I just resent that it makes me picture Hugh Laurie every single time.

2) HIGH / SKY

As in: "Always keep me flying high in the sky"

Extreme height is the sky's defining characteristic. If I'm extremely high, I'm in the sky. If I'm in the sky, I'm very high indeed. I bet even birds understand this. Some inbuilt instinct that tells them, I have flapped myself high enough that I'm now in the sky and no longer have to worry about cats. Regardless, writers have been milking this one for centuries.

3) TOGETHER / FOREVER

As in: "Step into Christmas, let's join together / We can watch the snow fall forever and ever".

Wizzard wished it could be Christmas every day, but for Sir Elton it's a given, albeit something you have to opt into. Either that or he's planning on you both eloping to a place where it never stops snowing. I've looked this up and I don't think such a place exists. You'd think the North Pole or somewhere, but apparently not. Or, third option - Bernie Taupin is taking the piss yet again, safe in the knowledge it will be such a banger that no one will care.

4) HANDS IN THE AIR / JUST DON'T CARE

As in: "Wave your hands in the air / Like you just don't care / There's a party over there"

This one is so ubiquitous it feels like it belongs in every upbeat pop song that's ever been written. It doesn't. It belongs on a CBeebies show starring puppet animals. If you've abandoned your responsibilities on such a fundamental level that you're flailing your arms around, party or no, a formal welfare check will usually be required.

5) PHONE / ALONE

As in: "It's hard enough being alone / Sitting here by the phone"

Of course, these days loneliness is better expressed as an unliked Facebook post. Anyone still pining for a phone call must be masochistic, since it would most likely be from a salesman or your boss. So this one has been past its day for a while. I'm still waiting for a lyric to the effect of "I feel so alone / Because the only engagement with my social media output comes from bots fishing for idiots to sell pornography to - this of course being on my smartphone".

6) PRAY / DAY

As in: "And we pray, and we pray, and we pray / Every day, every day, every day"

It's only human to pray you will see a lost loved one again - some day / at tha crossroads. (Moreso if you're American, which the Blazin' Squad kids were not.) It also scratches the same emotional itch as music in general, so this one makes perfect sense. But I would like to just once be surprised. "Last night I retired to pray... to my garden and my pile of HAY! Yeah? Yeah??" And speaking of prayer...

7) NIGHT / LIGHT

As in: "On my knees in the night / Saying prayers in the streetlight"

Another redundant one, as night already implies an absence of light. If we're talking streetlight imagery, the kind of G referenced above would be a curious choice of role model. While it may be a romantic notion, the actual sight of a grown man doing this would just be bizarre. You would assume he's dropping a package or collecting cash, but then you'd see him mumbling silently to himself and realise he's just insane. His jeans would also become faded at the knees over time, from all the dog piss.